PG: Who should define sexual limits?
Before reading this article, note briefly that the author is resolved that pre-marital sex and the activities associated with it are sinful, and speaks with regard and respect to married couples or those who are contemplating marriage.
To mitigate your anxiety I pop the questions: What are the limits to sexual conduct in the bedroom and who should determine these limits?
As an established fact, the bible does not speak expressly on the limits to sexual conduct within marriage, but totally treats pre-marital and adulterous affairs as sinful. The bible remains silent on certain acts enjoyed or discouraged by couples, for example oral sex. Even though it remains silent we can infer from certain scriptures that we can go ahead with it, that we should not go ahead with it and that we may do it. There is ambiguity as it relates to this topical issue. In some professions where texts and instruments have to be interpreted daily, there is an established principle that once ambiguity exists, the text should be interpreted in light of the higher rule. As Christians how are we going to tackle that issue when one partner opposes or proposes certain actions? Are we going to frown or shriek or say ‘let’s go darling!’?
One may argue that the bed is undefiled and any act can be done within the marital context. Hebrews 13:4, Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Songs of Solomon 2:3 As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
The Jamaica Observer dated Saturday September 29, 2007 made reference to a book written by a Minister of Religion to the effect that a Christian woman must find every possible way to keep her husband, and that many Christian women have a hard time ‘keeping’ their husbands because they are too righteous to ‘do it doggy style tonight’. Another Minister says he will preach it from the pulpit that it is good to be done.
One Christian woman contended that she could not imagine herself going on that avenue. ‘The mouth that you use to taste food; to engage in conversations within a close proximity to persons. The same mouth that gives praise to God and condemns evil?’ Ephesians 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Ephesians 5:4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
‘Must do, Must not do, or May do?’
Read the word and test the spirits! Every thing said or done has a spirit behind it. Is it a case of ‘Must do’, ‘Must not do’, or ‘May do’? 1 Corinthians 7 speaks about marriage. One possible answer to this question is highlighted for you. Note well that mutual consent is essential for the commission or omission of any act where that act is executed by two reasonable minds.
Co 7:1 now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
1Co 7:4 the wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1Co 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1Co 7:6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
Keep in mind Galatians 5:22, But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Galatians 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
See: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/AllWoman/html/20070923T200000-0500_127662_OBS_SEXUAL_PLEASURE_.asp
