I Realize
I accepted Jesus Christ at the age of twelve and as I reflect I realize now how shaped my life would have be by generational patterns had I not done so. At that age, I knew right from wrong but had little morals to guide me. I had little regards for my body and was adamant that it would be used to get me whatever I wanted.

When I accepted Christ, I had joy and provisions but, the issues of my past were never dealt with. Though dormant, they resurfaced in my late teen years. I became involved in relationships based on immediate gratification. I read the word, thought I believed it but I never applied it with regards to purity in mind and body. I remember being lauded as mature at church and told to be like Daniel. Yet, I would forget this to fulfill my desires with the drop of a hat.

“I was hurt, angry, regretful…bitter…”
I remember being in church with my unsaved boyfriend and God gave a Samson/Delilah message – ‘you are special and chosen by God, He will provide the best for you all in due season.’ I made a commitment to God and myself that I would end it yet, after being deceived of change, I continued with the relationship. As long as I remained in the relationship, I felt far from God. My Christian experience became ritualistic- I would read the bible, do a short prayer, engage in ‘Christian activity’, and attend church not even recognizing my lukewarm state. When my relationship ended, the young man told a friend of mine that he wanted a relationship with God and I was hampering his progress. I was hurt, angry, regretful but most of all bitter. Looking back, I’m grateful for this seeming unpleasant event since it acted as a precursor to my restored relationship with God.

The Wonderful Change
In the summer of 2005, I developed an appetite to know and serve God. I have since learnt that there is no condemnation (in the eyes of God for be because of my past, no)- God loves me. God has forgiven me. He created me wonderfully complex and has a plan for my life. I’m learning to love myself while offering my body completely to Jesus. Although sexual promiscuity is a feature of my family, I’m FROM it not A PART OF IT. I have since made a commitment to read God’s word, not out of duty but because I desire to know Him more. The Holy Spirit has been an awesome and faithful teacher and the lessons learnt are challenging and enriching. I have dedicated myself to reading books from which I can learn something positive not ‘pleasure book’ which promotes impurity in thought and conduct.

“He gives me flowers…”
Each day with Jesus is new and fresh. I thoroughly enjoy His presence, He gives me flowers, artworks in the cloud and new ways of basking in His presence. He reveals new things about himself and I experience a certain joy and peace as I seek to surrender all that I have completely to Him. He has given me insight and understanding. I ask Him to use me daily to be a shining light offering direction and warmth (love) to all those around me.

“I Am…Like Daniel”
I am created in His image- I have power, authority and dominion. My words whether spoken or written have power to transform, heal and restore. Like Daniel, I will take unprecedented stances; I will remain faithful because God is faithful.
Amen