Anna-Lisa Walcott
“God opposes the proud but he gives grace to the humble” 1 Peter 5:5
This has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever written! Except that I was four years old when I became a Christian, the rest of my Christian life had been ‘complicated’ (maybe backslide would fit in somewhere..but I can’t even figure it out). Thank God everything changed a few years ago!!! There are so many stories but if I had to choose one to keep, forget the rest, this would be it:
“Pride Masked my Insecurities”
Since I was really young, I had perhaps an unnaturally intense desire to know God’s will for my life. I prayed and prayed and prayed and I also prayed…u get the point? Lol, strangley amidst all the prophecies that came in all around me to my friends, about their own lives none came for me and yet I was always confident of my own significance. That confidence in myself however turned into a bitter pride. That pride masked my insecurities about myself and as I saw friends mature in their walk with God and in their ministry I became resentful. There were times when leaders would call my friends to take up positions of responsibility and not choose me and feeling hurt I would resort to my own pride for consolation. Okay this is embarrassing…oh but for the Glory of God, I would never expose these thoughts, here goes…I would think things like “One day they will know that they underestimated me” … “They (clearly) don’t know my potential” …oh the ugliness of my own heart!!
Imagine me a gwan like seh God need me for His ministry…as if!
The scripture is true “GOD OPPOSES THE PROUD” 1 Peter 5:5. There was no way God was going to use a heart like mine in ministry and for His glory. None at all. As my heart hardened with pride, it was going to take God’s merciful intervention in my life to save me from myself. The ‘harmless’ confidence in myself turned to bitter pride and envy and the rot just continued day in day out until I was sick of it. I was sick of always being upset, always being miserable. I realised the hardness of my heart towards God, it was a very painful period in my life. I craved being able to have a meaningful relationship with God. I read my Bible and prayed regularly but I needed to repent.
“My heart broke”
One night at an Xtreme Impact concert my heart broke before the Lord (Psalm 51:17), tears of humility and repentance was something that had not happened in a long, long time if ever before. I had a revelation of my own insignificance before a great and mighty God who created the earth and everything in it (Psalm 24:1). I was fully ashamed and brought to my knees before God. I realised how wrong my thoughts were and how dire the need was for repentance. I had to throw off all pretensions of my own self-righteousness and cry out to God for forgiveness. After it was all over I scraped myself off the ground and got up refreshed through His mercy and by His grace. Can you imagine?! God is so AMAZING! As I shed my pride, God in his faithfulness poured out His grace!!
What is God’s Grace Anyway?
“God’s grace teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the appearing of the glory of our great God and Saviour Jesus Christ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people who are his very own eager to do what is good.” (Romans 8:35-39)
God’s grace is the power He gives us to live righteous lives according to the Truth (Jesus Christ). Jesus said to us “I am the Way the Truth and the Life”. Do you know how much we could learn just by reading about Jesus’ life?!!? HUMILITY (see Philippians 2) is one BIG lesson I had to learn desperately and live by eagerly. The best part is now I am aware that God is able to cleanse my heart.
The Transformation
There was an obvious change that occurred. I could freely say to my friends ‘I love you’ and mean it from the bottom of my heart!!! (hi sara, lol!!) I could worship God from my heart, with all my heart not some rotten tough piece of junk, lol!! I can’t even imagine a more fulfilling way to live than to worship God.
God has really done a lot with me ever since, giving me soooo many opportunities to serve for His glory. Not only did God refresh me with his grace but He answered my life-long prayer – He gave me a vision for my life and continues to direct my steps according to His purpose and for His glory. Praise the Lord!
John 4:34
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work”
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Reddit
November 14th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Hey Sis! I am so PROUD of YOU, so Proud of You. I am sorry did I say proud (no pride roun here) LOL. No On a real I appreciate your transparency, it takes humility to share your inner secrets. This is a fruit of the work God has done in your heart. Thanks for sharing Sis, I know this will help the lives of many individuals, it certainly challenged me to be more transparent! Bless YOU
November 15th, 2007 at 8:59 am
AnnA! Trust me, we’re so prou *ahem* happy for u!
Who are we really, put before Almighty God? What an Isaiah moment! I do believe you’re destined for more, but God had to finish the work on your heart before lifting you up in any regard. Really appreciate u sharing sis!
Come hoooommee!
November 15th, 2007 at 10:43 am
thank you gary!!! you kno, after a wrote this…my stomach literally hurt mi and tears full up mi eye, fo d way how mi shame..lol! but thats the best part of it..my shame and disgrace magnifies the power of God’s grace so that all who witness it will know that God is indeed capable of totally transforming lives!!!! HALLELUJAH!
November 16th, 2007 at 5:05 am
dan dan!!! mi soon come hoooome!!!!!!!! jus wait til a reach back nuh…dont leave dont leave!!!
November 16th, 2007 at 7:09 am
This is so true.My friends got the baptism o the Holy Sprit before me and it used to hurt me alot too.I guess pride came in as well, but thank God.Now I’m cool.Guess I never saw that it was this powerful until I read you Testimony.Big ups girl.Keep being humble for Him and watch Him exalt you!
November 16th, 2007 at 9:29 am
I am so happy that you have shared your Testimony, because I believe all of us have to deal with the demon of pride at one point or the other in our christian lives.
Sharing is the first step in the right direction and I believe wholeheartedly that when you humble yourself under the mighty hand of God that he will exalt you. Humility is a ‘growing pains’ process and so big up to you, woman of valour!
November 16th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
hi baby… so glad u finally put up your Testimony, it is always so awesome to reflect on how God just transformed you and renewed who you were (or how ppl saw u) in that moment. i will never forget it for the rest of my life. it was something we were praying for and God has been so amazing. thank you for finally sharing it.
love u
ps hey hey i get a big up
November 18th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
anna my hun, very encouraged i guess truth be told humility is really what God wants from me. thanx for the reminder. God is truly amazing and life transforming
November 20th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
I really appreciate your Testimony, it shows that when you really open with God and yourself, that the heart transformation accelerates, His veins your veins, His thoughts your thoughts is when your life will be all the more meaningful and all the more fulfilling. Thank you so much Anna-Lisa, keep on keeping on.
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Dawta…to God be the glory, great things He has done!! I am so proud of you. Bless you for being vulnerable for the glory of the King. A got a vision of a race horse flying out of the starting gate. Thanks. Your Testimony lift me so till. I know say we Daddy a look down an a smile. Keep running!
November 26th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Hi mis punkie….waaaaaaaa!!!!!!! yeh!!!!!!!!!!! scream!!!!!!!!!! allelujah………stamp stamp stamp!!!!!!!!!! Allelujah to Jesus, He has triumphed!!!! It has been a journey, but I am so proud of you Anna, I am so proud (rpt). Mi heart full a pride ova you, and I hope that God give me long life to be around you. I LOVE YOU PLENTY PLENTY ANNA!!!!!!! Many many blessings upon you.
November 26th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
God haffi strip wi firs before He can use us.i thank God for you.Even if it means us being embarrassed, so let it be, just for God to get Him glory.Im encouraged.
November 27th, 2007 at 10:01 am
..hi mommy hi mommy hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..lol, tanks. (altho i kno this was a collective effort to embarass mi…glaring at a.w.) lol..love you mom, miss you. cant wait to reach bac a a mi yaaad.
p.s. momz yu nuh si seh ‘proud of you’ song get ban roun ‘ere….lol
November 28th, 2007 at 2:21 am
tanks ms.walcott!!!!!!!! mi fambily!!!
November 29th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Hi Anna
Our God is truly amazing. As you have found out He can transform anything, He can make anything brand new from what is considered as “rotten”. Continue to walk with the Lord and He will continue to do marvelous things in your life.
Blessings everytime.
Good going girl.
December 10th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
thanks ruth
March 7th, 2008 at 11:48 am
thank you for you Testimony it is ablessing
March 7th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
if i had only known that this Testimony was here a long time ago, but i have came to realize that God held me back from seeing it so i could see at a better time, when it really matters. im blessed by this Testimony all the experiences, cuz i can relate, and well thats what a Testimony supposed to do!! so the Lord has really called for this one cuz it is evident that PRIDE is killing the nation, especially the christians. so this wake up call was necessary for people like me who the devil is hurling everything at.
Anna, just continue to live for God, the real man, the real big man,
him neva call you those time cuz him did have a betta plan,
dont fight it, step in faith and gwan hold him hand!!
anyway, big up!!! A JESUS THING THIS!!
September 7th, 2008 at 12:23 am
Anna u need to Write another tesimony about how u got a boyfriend now
September 7th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
sara, yu cant behave yuself.
September 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
this is not facebook..ok?